Marriage…What I didn’t know when I got married.
The smell of fresh cut roses filled the air. You could hear a pin drop in the sanctuary. As Jim professed his love and commitment, tears cascaded down my cheeks. It was our wedding day! And it was perfect.
Perfect.
Today marks fifteen years that Jim and I have been married and completely imperfect. To think that we have come this far…together…is mind boggling, to say the least. I wrote the following for this website over a year ago and it still sums up how I feel today:
Marriage is hard.
And I’m not very good at it.
That’s why I need Jesus.
Being married reveals my inadequacies and weaknesses.
It exposes my heart and reveals the depth of my need.
It’s risky.
And shakes me out of my comfort zone when I least expect it.
Through my husband, I see my need for a Savior in the most profound ways.
I see my selfishness and arrogance.
I’m more aware of my desperate need for prayer.
I can’t be the wife my husband needs, the wife my children need to see modeled in our home…I can’t be her…without
HIM.
In fact, I believe it’s impossible for marriage to work apart from the One who holds all things…and works all things together for good.
I used to wonder if I married the right person.
But now I know.
I believe God brought my husband and me together for such a time as this to become a living example that He can and will do the impossible.
I love my husband.
The love that God has poured into our hearts for each other is what sustains us when the road we’re traveling down becomes treacherous.
It’s a love that is patient and kind…that keeps no record of wrongs.
It’s a love that hopes, endures and never fails.
So what I’ve learned thus far is this…
It’s not about me…
Without a doubt I came into this relationship naïve and selfish. For years I carried around hopes, dreams and expectations like a monkey on my back …a burden that my husband was never meant to fulfill in any way, shape or form. It took me a long time (too long) to recognize that everything…including my marriage is about Jesus. He is the hope giver, dream creator and expectation fulfiller. He’s it. Everything. When it’s all about Him…marriage takes on a whole new meaning.
Congratulations on 15 years of marriage. I wish you all the best in the future.
I’m glad that God has become such a big part of your marriage and your lives. I know through His guidance, you will be able to survive anything.
thank you Kelly:)
At a recent retreat with many speakers one message resonated with me. It was that too many families today lack joy. God made marriage for us so that we can experience joy through each other. It is our choice though. Often we go to work and do our best, but come home and relax thinking it’s a time out. God wants us to give our best to our loved ones at home too. It is more important than work. We can have His joy in our marriages and in our families. Don’t let time and the world steal your joy. It’s your choice.
JOY…I love this Janine!! Thank you for commenting. And yes – we must not let time and the world steal our joy!
Congratulations on 15 years! My husband and I will celebrate 35 years next week and my how the time has flown by!! I suppose that I would compare what I didn’t know about getting married to what I didn’t know about having children–lol. What I DO know however, is that we couldn’t have sustained a 35 yr marriage, nor raised our children without the sustaining love and mercy of God. Thank you both for your very public testimony and example. Hope Jim is recovering nicely. Your family is in my prayers!
Beautiful, Jill! Happy Anniversary to you and Jim! You guys truly are an amazing couple and I look up to you! You inspire me! Thanks for sharing!!
Happy Anniversary!!! Wow you have no idea how much I needed to hear that from GOD through you today
xoxxoxxoxox
Congratulations Jim and Jill, “For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us timid; instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love, and self-control.” Praying for many many more years of continued happiness.
Jill -
Thank you so much for this post and congratulations to Jim and you on your anniversary!! I sat with you at Glendorn in Bradford Pa a few years ago as my husband and I were also celebrating our anniversary. Yes,
life is hard and we are imperfect, but thank goodness we have the grace of God to help us and love us through our imperfectness!!!
Happy Anniversary to you both!!! Mike and I will celebrate our special day on Sunday!!
Happy anniversary Jill and Jim. My wife and I just celebrated 31 years. People ask us how we’ve succeeded so long. besides hardly seeing each other(haha)—she averages 70 hours a week of work, I remind people they have to work at a good marriage. I think people assume it just happens and if it’s not perfect, they want to go their separate ways without working at it. I’m glad to see it’s working for you. We hit a bump in the earlier years too. Perseverance and God. It works!
Colleen…where have you been? I miss you pretty girl:) Will you ever come home and visit?
Ray…so glad to have a comment from a guy on here:) Yes, marriage is work for sure. But with Christ at the center – we cannot fail! He works all things together for good. Thank you for sharing!
congratulations on 15 years of marriage, me and my hubby will be married 30 years in August and its tough work being together but everything we have been through I wouldn’t change because it builds character even though its tough some times. I thank God that I keep our life in Gods hands because if I counted on me or him we would not be together God is so wonderful and He knows what and who we need in our life . Keep on trucking cause its worth it. Cathy
beautiful wordgs from the heart, as always.
i hope jim is recuperating well and that you were able to share a joyful anniversary together.
for years i did not understand the concept that our love for Jesus must come before even our love for our spouse or our children. and that He must be at the very heart of every marriage, and a daily partner.
through faith and love, trial and tribulation,
God revealed these truths to me. i understand now that it is only with Jesus as our first love, that we can become the spouses and parents that He meant for us to be, and that is the “secret” to truly happy, successful and blessed marriages and families!
thank you God! and thank you Lord for Jill and Jim and the countless lives you have touched through them… <3
Congrats Jill and Jim! What a gift of 15 years! :) If you don’t mind, my wedding is Sept. 24th this year- I’d like to print this off and read it at my wedding… if you wouldn’t mind. I think this will speak to all. So glad God is working through your lives to work through so many other lives! :)
Love, Jenna
You are so blessed.I had a wonderful wedding and married my best friend.We married on 12/15/07 and he died 4/2/09.I will tell you your book helped so much.I can say marriage is hard work…but,I think you realize life is harder without your spouse.
I still feel so blessed.
LOVE THIS!! Yes, we all believe our marriage is perfect on our wedding day. Boy, the fairy tale is just that. It IS hard. So many times I was ready to throw in the towel. Top that with having the best father in the world who was so incredible with my mom (they held hands and kissed all the time right up till the day he died), my expectations for marriage was right out of a prince charming book. BAM! Reality is a shock. And yes, HE held me up and led me through. It will always be a roller coaster, a work in progress…and we have been married 22 years. But it is only with HIS love I have come to realize that my husband IS who am meant to be with. That He is guiding us both, that I was not the blameless part of the equation, expecting and wanting things that were not part of following want He wants from us. Oh I am so thankful that He fills my heart and I did not throw in the towel. A wonderful father and husband, and a marriage that continues on a roller coaster, but a woman who now understands that love is patient, love is kind. PATIENT. It is always worked on.
Faith, Hope, Love… the greatest of these is love. 1Corinthians 13:13 Thank you Father, for teaching me what those words mean <3 .
Congratulations! I read this last month but needed to read it again today. YES marriage is hard! My husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary on June 20th. Today is just NOT one of those easy days and so I turn to God. Thank you Jill for reminding me to do that. It makes everything so right.
Congratulations to you and Jim. Now days it is a accomplishment, because you are right Jill it is hard. We are celebrating our 30th year in a few months and it has been very difficult at times. We of course share MANY wonderful times and years but also many trials and tribulations along the way, but I feel it is still worth the fight. Thank you for sharing on your journal, may you and Jim share many more years together, God Bless you and your wonderful family.