This season that I find myself in right now is a whirlwind of great joy and deep sorrow. Without A Word – How a Boy’s Unspoken Love Changed Everything has taken our entire family on a journey into the hearts and homes of many. During this time of intense promotion for the book we have been asked to participate in numerous national and local media interviews.
Today I was interviewed by a gentlemen named Mike. In fact, I just got off the phone with him. During our interview – which appeared fairly typical (as far as book interviews go) I said something I will never forget.
“I live with deep pain every single day, missing Hunter more than I can describe. And yet, this very pain is a gift from God. It’s a gift because my pain reminds me that I’m not home yet. It’s a constant reminder that heaven awaits me…Hunter is waiting…and so is Jesus.”
It’s true…this pain I carry in my heart each day is a gift. The gift of what’s to come. The gift of pain that inspires me to live fully each and every breath I’m given. What if this pain is an ever-present gift that God is using to hold me until HE – Himself holds me in His embrace? What if there’s healing in the pain? What if I know a greater hope and embrace a deeper understanding of joy because of this broken heart? What if?
Surely Mike didn’t fully comprehend what I said in those few moments on the phone with him. I’m not even sure I can grasp what the Lord is speaking into my heart even now.
But, I do know that this revelation has brought me to my journal and to my knees. And even though I don’t understand it all…I know that the gift of who HE is includes the pain that I’m carrying right now…and it is well with my soul.
“For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. Psalm 116:8